If Ony I Had Told Her by Laura Nowlin

 IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

- Laura Nowlin


I think I might be cursed. In every film I watch, someone ends up dying. In every book I read, someone ends up dying. This is the second time this month that I’ve picked a rom-com and someone dies in it. This is getting out of control. I picked this book up thinking it was a rom-com and instead went through a full rollercoaster experience. Spoiler alert: the protagonist dies. But now that I’ve finished reading the book, I think that’s what I love most about it. Yes, I’m weird. I love that the protagonist dies. Get over it.

The book is divided into three parts: the first is Finn’s, the second Jack’s, and the third Autumn’s. Finn has been in love with Autumn his entire life. Jack, aware of this, is caught in between. This is all that the book blurb would tell you. Absolute deceit, I’m telling you! But here’s where I come in with all my spoilers and explanations - our beloved Finn dies. The book explores themes of love and grief and is anything but a rom-com. There’s a little rom and 0 com.

I have a loootttt to say about this book but let me begin with the writing style. In my opinion, it changes with each part. The first part has short, blunt sentences. The second carries a tone of numbness to it. The third feels more like narration. This is brilliant because each writing style resonates perfectly with the character whose section it is. Finn is blunt. Jack is consumed by grief and can’t feel anything beyond his friend’s death. And Autumn is a writer. That’s something I really loved.

Secondly, the author conveys emotions perfectly. Finn doesn’t just love Autumn; he worships her. He puts her on a pedestal and believes she can do no wrong. This is conveyed incredibly well. When I first read Finn’s section, it almost felt like reading a kidnapper’s account. The name “Autumn” appears in every single sentence. I was so annoyed I almost tore the book apart. But by the end of the first chapter, I realized this was deliberate and intentionally done to emphasize Finn's obsessive nature over her.

Thirdly, the characters are very easy to like, and the book teaches you a lot about grief. I could especially relate to the way Jack grieves, and I think the author did a great job showing how differently people experience loss. All in all, it’s a good read, and I’d give it an 8 out of 10.

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